The outer world '' your reality '' is the direct reflection of your inner world.
It was the autumn of 2013 when I set to accomplish a dream which I had since high school. I went to study photography in the university overseas, the whole deal, three years + the placement year. Four year commitment. I enrolled to Coventry University with high hopes and preconceived notions. I remember so clearly going to school for the first week being so excited and happy for the journey ahead. It felt so foreign and interesting to the style of teaching I had been used to. It was more laid back and interactive and the relationships with lectures were more personal and direct. That excitement was gone on week three though when I realised that I didn’t really connect with the people and with the city. I found myself walking around zoned out in Coventry paying no attention what was going on around me while thinking about the people back in Tallinn, Estonia. I felt like an outsider walking around groups of nationalities having a laugh and speaking in their mother language. I lived in that state probably for a month when I realised I had to change something because I was not enjoying life and that opportunity I had wished for all those years..
A typical evening looked like this - I was chilling alone in my room watching a movie or a documentary about something deep. About parallel realities or off - world entities, you know that kind of deep. Anyway I was browsing on YouTube and for some reason a video caught my attention called ‘’ An Introduction to the Transcendental Meditation Technique ‘’ I started to listen how this very wise man was describing the whole purpose of meditation and its effects on the brain and body. It seemed like I had found the cure for my unhappy situation. Ideas shared in that video and in few others really made me commit to a plan which consisted of meditating twice a day for a undefined time period. I woke up the next day, did my best to be present and as relaxed as possible while sitting eyes closed for 10 - 15 minutes. Clearly to feel any changes I knew I had to make it a habit that I do every day in order to balance out the bad vibes. So I did, for the next two months I meditated every day and slowly I began to notice how my perspectives started to become more positive and optimistic. While being calm and grateful you can’t really be angry and sad, it is either one or the other. As time progressed I kept my habit with some breaks in between but I knew that I had found a place where I could go to find peace and stillness. It was like a full - time course on how to mentally be at ease while being alone with no support on the side. I became obsessed with getting good grades..
This progress from feeling unhappy and disconnected to loving the city and the people developed throughout my time in Coventry. At the end of the first year I got used to the people and city, the second year I started to see the good aspects of it and on the final year I found the people who I resonated with and made some great memories, that will last a lifetime. Looking back it seems like it had to be hard mentally in order for me to find meditation which has stuck with me now for a couple of years. There have been still breaks in my routine but I am doing my best not to miss a single day. I now know that everybody has to be ready and have an open mindset in order to start meditating but still I wish that people would try it out when somebody recommends it to them!! For me it is necessary to go within, to find the things which matter in order to live authentically and literally know who I am at the core. Meditation really helps with that. It definitely put the pieces together for me in terms of what I want to pursue in life. I want everybody to live authentically while speaking their unique truth. That they would follow whatever makes them feel the most joy, because thats what life is about.
I always say that UK was a big life lesson for me with a bit of education on the side.